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Sexual Assault
First - Sexual assault requires expert input ASAP, with the victim’s consent. If you, or someone else experiences non-consensual, hands-on behaviour and/or the use of force, get yourself/the person immediately to a place of safety. Get to a place with other people, if you can, who can help or protect you if danger is still present. Call for help, or ask someone to do this for you.
The police are available for acute assistance, and after an incident - call 111 in New Zealand, or 000 in Australia. Each nation's police force also has detailed resources to further guide you:
Here are some websites which list further support services in NZ and Australia:
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Sexual Harassment
Sexual harassment can also demand expert input (the law, crisis assistance, counselling). This is especially important where it is ongoing, as there is an increased likelihood that things will escalate, and/or the perpetrator is harassing another. If it happens at work, your employer will have a process to raise harassment as a specific grievance. If you work alone, e.g. as a contractor, the Human Rights Commission has an appropriate process.
New Zealand: https://www.hrc.co.nz/enquiries-and-complaints/ Australia: https://humanrights.gov.au/complaints#main-content |
Prevalence
Sexual harassment is a common phenomenon around which societal awareness is growing. This is a good step towards countering its prevalence, but at the same time, our increasingly connected world also means an increased risk of exposure to harassment. You might receive an unwelcome message on your phone or laptop at any time (see also Topic 4, Online Bullying).
So, it’s sensible to be aware of harassment, understand why people might behave this way, and develop ideas about coping with it – and ahead of time. This means that ‘in the moment’ you will have ideas and tools available to you, and you will know how best to act. |
What Sexual Harassment Might Look and Sound Like
Sexual harassment is unsolicited, unwanted behaviour with a sexual/intimate component, occurring in person or via other media. Behaviours can be repeated but one significant event can also be categorised as harassment.
Some harassment may be accompanied by implied, or more overt promises of preferential or detrimental treatment related to a sexual behaviour, e.g. sexual favours in return for promotion. An element of humour can also be used, which likens harassment to passive aggression, with sexual overtones. Harassment might look like:
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Feelings about Harassment
Sexual harassment can be confusing and we might feel unsure what is happening at first - most of us don’t deal with harassment every day. We might also feel objectified or humiliated, especially where an incident is public. Many behaviours, even the seemingly casual, can provoke a ‘fight or flight’ reaction- our most personal mental and physical spaces have been threatened.
Harassment can also leave us feeling drained, ashamed or ‘dirty.’ We may be concerned that we let someone ‘get away with it’ or somehow encouraged them. No matter the form it takes, sexual harassment can elicit strong, but legitimate feelings. Sexual harassment is NOT your fault, but about the behaviour of others. Feelings Over Time
Thoughts and feelings about harassment incidents may persist. For example, you may find yourself repeatedly re-running events in your head or wondering if ‘I’d only said/done X’ – or you may dream about an incident. Please share these feelings with a trusted friend and seek professional help if you feel you need. These feelings are normal, and with support, can become more manageable.
Harassment victims can also suffer in the long term – they may leave a workplace or geographical area, even a career. Harassment can affect trust and therefore workplace relationships, and social networks, especially for the young, the less socially experienced or the underconfident. Victim Blaming
A further complication to feelings about sexual harassment is that some people ‘victim blame.’ ‘She/he was flirting for a while there’… and so on. Mercifully on the wane, this latent sociological belief - that harassment victims are somehow complicit – is 100% inaccurate. Even if you have been in a relationship with the person who harassed you, or engaged with them at the outset, the boundaries of what is, and is not OK are always your call.
But why does blaming happen? Blaming can be related to a human tendency to want to find a simple reason or explanation, and thus render the situation benign: such thinking avoids more realistic, confronting issues at hand. An unfortunate outcome of victim blaming is that when this possibility is voiced, some perpetrators might believe their behaviour vindicated - another reason for us to be informed and prepared to deal with harassment well. Did you know?One result of the painfully slow progress of social change to counter widespread sexism and harassment is that some women in history seemed to adopt similar viewpoints to their male counterparts, some like victim blaming. For example, to label a woman a ‘slut’ or to claim ‘she asked for it’ when harassment or assault has occurred. Such viewpoints may, for some, persist in the general tendency to criticise other women for being ‘too beautiful’ or to belittle their success, but again, such issues are now waning. Let’s keep it waning! |
Why Harassment Might Happen
To decide what to do, we need to understand why sexual harassment might happen - and be aware of who it might affect. Harassment is not wholly a cisgender, heterosexual issue but can occur across all gender identities & sexualities.
Sexual harassment might happen where a person:
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What Can We Do About Harassment in The Short Term?
Several phenomena feature in current discussions about workplace harassment. One in particular is about how to best help all staff in a workplace to support a victim, but also to avoid backlash from the alleged perpetrator. Harassment incidents can be challenging, especially where a workplace is gender-dominant and a victim in the minority. We watch carefully for developments in this area of research.
As we have mentioned, feelings about harassment can be marked. However, one feeling is exceptionally useful during any potential harassment event: Trust your gut instincts: if it feels weird, or unsafe, it most probably is
If your gut tells you so, get moving. Out of the room, the building, shut down the social media and get into the company of others. Even if you feel a bit silly, or think that (compared, say, with assault) its ‘nothing.’ (If you see someone else suffering harassment, escort them out of the situation if you can).
Tell someone what is happening and how you feel – this person can then stay with you, and be easily contacted at short notice should you need them later. |
What Can We Do About Harassment in The Longer Term?
We can carefully work to counter talk about victim blaming, descriptions of ‘adventures’ described in coffee room chit chat, and lower levels of harassment, such as comments on Facebook about ‘what I would do…’.
Countering such talk without exacerbating things demands skill, and if it feels dangerous to you, don’t do it: some harassers will treat this kind of attention as encouragement. So, what about the times we feel we can do something, but need skills to do so? ***Trigger warning – fictional examples of harassment below***
The IFFy Method © - Sexual Harassment
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For comments or suggestions on the material presented here, please contact DrAlfie@word.net.nz